We have cookies
by Iikku The Eyebrow Master
Summary: "Come to the dark side, we have cookies". What kind of a slogan is that? A perverted demon named Francis is about to find out the reason why Hell chose it. FrUK, Demon!Francis, Angel!England, awkward smut, oral, language, something that will scar your mind.


**Okey, this is my first smut published. I warn you, it's crap. I am a awkward closet pervert and almost died while writing that, so yeah, it's crap.**  
**Don't ask me where I got the idea for this. I seriously don't know. What I do know is, I will never be able to wear my T-shirt with that slogan again.**

**Sorry for any spelling errors and bad grammar, I am a piece of Finnish shit.**

Humans never were that smart on Francis' mind, they worried far too much. They lived only once, well most of them atleast. Some lucky and unlucky bastards managed to sneak their way into Heaven or Hell. Francis was in the latter one, and quite enjoying himself. When you got used to the dark, pompous, black and red interior, horns and the heat, it was a nice place with interesting companion, so to say. And of course, non-stop party. If he had to choose between being a human or a demon, he would definently choose demon.

Why was the creature from Hell's depths walking among humans now? Even disguised as one. It was a rather simple reason, amusing one aswell.

They had ran out of cookies.

Yes, Hell, or the Dark Side if you wish to call it so, didn't have an unlimited supply of cookies. They ran out every now and then, and then it was up to some poor demon to go to the human world and buy some. Yes, buy, with money, Lucifer insisted to do it that way even if it was very law-abiding, very un-demonic thing to do. Asking him why didn't help, the big boss was a quirky personality with quirky ansrews.

So this time it was the blonde demon's turn to go grocery shopping. His horns and tail were hidden from human eyes, but if another demon, or possibly an angel, saw him, they would notice them. But it was very unlikely to bump into neither, there had been a big party in Hell yesterday and it had drained everyone out. And angels seemed to enjoy Heaven quite a bit, they didn't leave it that often. And if they did, they did something boring like protected children or something of that sort.

Francis smiled at a pretty lady who walked past him, making her giggle and blush. He always drew that reaction from both women and men, he was rather handsome after all, and of course a sex god who radiated erotic wawes. His choice of clothing was a help in that, too; A dark red silk shirt, three top buttons unbuttoned so his chest was visible, and a black suit worn casually. With his long, blonde hair and a small beard, accompanied by those flirty blue eyes, he could be best described as _sinful._ Which he was, no doubt about that. People didn't end up in Hell for nothing, nor became demons.

His destination was now a tall, grey building, which resembled a normal skyscaper of a company. Francis knew better. Among angels and demons, this building was known as "the lift", an elevator which could send you either to Heaven or hell, depending on did you press up or down. With a plastic bag full of different kind of cookies he finally arrived there, winking mischievously at the brunette human woman, Michelle, behind the desk. She smiled neutrally, of course, she had to. She was not allowed to take sides between Heaven and Hell. It was against the laws.

Not suprised by the emptiness of the hall Francis casually walked to one of the elevator doors, blankly staring at the screen above which indicated which floor it was in. At last, it hit "G" and the doors slid open with a cheerful bing, revealing a silver-walled square-shaped space and a familiar oh-so-grumpy angel named Arthur. He was wearing a white suit and carried a satchel (also white, of course), his halo lighting the lift.

"Bonsoir mon ami", Francis cooed when he stepped into the elevator, knowing it could tick the angel off even more. Green eyes stared at him when Arthur spat out his response.

"Hello frog. It just made my day to get stuck with you in this bloody lift."

"Ohonhon, you're always so cheery when I meet you."

"It's because seeing you makes my stomach twist", Arthur hissed poisonously. The doors slid shut and the lift started moving downwards.

"C'est l'amour."

"My arse."

"Is my daydream."

A sweet blush crept on Arthur's cheeks as the angel grew even more irritated.

"Keep your perverse jokes to yourself! Dear God, what have I done to get this task on my shoulders..."

"What task? Why are you even going to visit Hell? Fed up with the blue and white?"

"Shut up. God asked me to take some papers to Lucifer. I don't understand why he can't get himself a bloody computer and an email..."

"Maybe because he is an old grumpy man who doesn't understand technology?"

"Probably. He has all the time in the world to learn though, yet he is too stubborn to do so."

"He has been spending too much time with you, cher, and has picked up some bad influence", Francis stated, doing his best to drive the angel of the edge. So far so good, Arthur seemed to grow more and more annoyed every second.

"Shut up you French demon! I am not a bad influence! Especially not to God himself."

"Oui oui, d'accord. As you wish. I just can't see how you got the place of an angel with that personality."

"My personality is perfectly fine", Arthur huffed, noticing finally the plastic bags.

"What's in those? Lube and vibrators?" he asked and laughed humourlesly. Francis snickered, he sure did like things like lube and vibrators but that was not the point of this.

"Non, just a few helpers for people who wonder whether or not to join the Dark Side."

"Meaning?"

"Mon dieu, are you not aware of internet memes?"

"Last time I checked, you were afraid of technology too and refused to touch computers. How have you been in the internet?"

"Times change. I had to keep up with the latest trends, you know?"

"I don't care. What do you have in the bags?"

"Cookies."

"W-what?"

"Cookies. Biscuits. Get it, Brit?"

"I-I get it. Whatever, just shut up", he said and turned his gaze away, redness on his cheeks. Francis was confused. What had he said to make the angel do such thing? He leaned forward so he could see his companions face, noticing Arthur to be biting his lip nervously.

"Arthur? What is wrong?" he asked, recieving a nasty response.

"I-I'm perfectly fine! Just shut up, you wanker!" Arthur snarled, glancing quickly at the bags.

"Mais mon a-" Francis was cut off when the lift suddenly jerked violently and stopped. The angel and the demon fell on the floor by the force of it, the cookie packages spreading all over. The lights shut off, leaving Arthur's halo the only source of light. A second later a female voice was heard from the speakers.

"We seem to have a problem with the power system. Elevators will be out of use for an hour."

"An hour?! A bloody hour?!" Arthur screamed at the speaker as if it was going to help. As expected, it didn't have any effect on the situation. Arthur stood up and kicked the door, swearing like a sailor (what a good angel he was, really). Francis on the other hand was more relaxed; now he didn't have to deal with the lost souls who had wandered into Hell. He grabbed one of the packages and ripped the seal off.

"Calm down, cher. It's not like this is the end of the world. Come on, have a biscuit."

"The Hell I will! Keep those filthy things away from me!" the angel shouted at Francis, who was now nibbling a cookie with a confused look on his face.

"Why are you so snappy about these? Are you on a diet or something?"

"I am not! Just shut up already", Arthur said and sat down as far from Francis as he could, leaning on the wall. Unable to see why the Brit was acting the way he did, Francis stayed silent as he examined his companion. The angel tried to keep his eyes on the walls of the room, but they seemed to wander off on Francis, the cookie packages, and the one which was opened. His cheeks were now red as ever, and his body was tense, anxious. He looked at the biscuit which Francis was holding with...lust? Yes, lust, if Francis had to recognize a deadly sin he would never be wrong, especially when talking about his personal favourite. Arthur was biting his lower lip so hard it would start to bleed any second now. Normally so keen to argue with Francis, the angel had fallen silent, as if trying to hide something.

As if he was turned on.

As soon as Francis realized what Arthur's body language was signaling his mind connected the pieces of the puzzle, him being the master in these kind of things. Could it be that biscuits were an aphrodisiac for angels? That would explain why Lucifer was so obsessed about them, being a fallen angel himself...better take a note on that one. But before that, there was Arthur to take care of. Boy, did he love corrupting angels on a pretty day like this...

"Oh, cher, are you certain you don't want some? It's pretty tasty~" he purred seductively, playing with the cookie. Arthur looked like he was about to say something, but kept quiet. Francis gave a lick on the round thing, smiling that evil-but-oh-so-sexy smile of his. Arthur tried to look angry, but his eyes gave him away as they shouted need for dirty acts. Francis put the biscuit between his lips and started to crawl towards the Brit, who seemed to have frozen on his spot. Arthur tried to fiure a nasty thing to say to the other, but ended up opening and shutting his mouth like fish, growing more nervous every second. The demon had made it's way between Arthur's legs, face only centimeters away from the other's. Still able to think, Arthur's lips formed into a firm line, staring the treat. Francis took the cookie from between his lips, toying with it infront of the angel.

"Take a bite, amour~ Do it for me~" he whispered, pressing the treat on Arthur's lips. The green eyes were locked on Francis's blue ones. Arthur's cheeks were practically glowing now, and his expression was mixed with panic, embrassement and a forbidden desire to take the delicacy. There was a streak of sweat slowly running down his forehead. The demon couldn't help but chuckle.

"Come on now, mon lapin. You know you want to."

As the faint scent rose to the angels nostrils, he had to give up. Arthur parted his lips slighty, just enough so Francis could push the edge of cookie in. The angel bit, just a small piece, but the effect was visible and enough to confirm Francis' theory; his body flinched, then relaxed a little, the lust in his gaze taking stronger form. So it was a rather strong aphrodisiac! Francis' smile widened and he felt a familiar root in his stomach, one that meant satisfaction for him in so many ways.

"More, ami", he couraged the angel to nibble the biscuit, and he did; this time a slighty bigger piece. A sound of pleasure escaped his mouth when he swallowed. Arthur grabbed Francis' sleeve to pull him closer, making the demon lose his balance and fall on top of the angel. The cookie fell on the floor due to the action. Francis felt a hardening pressing against his stomach, making him aroused aswell.

"You wanker", Arthur gasped in irritation, cursing himself to let Francis lead him in such a situation. But he couldn't help himself...biscuits were forbidden in Heaven, and they were so delicious...The demon hummed in satisfaction, sliding his hands along the Briton's thighs, massaging them with a circular motion. Arthur was holding himself back, fighting the want to moan and press himself more against the Frenchman. For God's sake, the other one was an angel and the other one was a demon! It was against all rules, forbidden, illegal...

_A massive turn on._

"Cher, I don't have the need for that kind of business, in Hell we have enough friends of loving for everyone. Don't know about Heaven, though..." Francis teased him, bringing his face even closer so their foreheads touched. He lifted his other hand and drew meaningless patterns on the angel's jaw line with his fingers, finally meeting the other one's lips. He stopped for a second, grinned, and lowered his hand to grab Arthur's chin. The angel didn't resist even a bit when Francis pressed his lips against his own, instead returning the kiss with equal favour. He even let the demon slip his tongue in, examine all of his oral cavity. The moan he was holding back managed to slip from his mouth, encouraging the demon for further actions. Francis' hands found their way to Arthur's suit jacket, taking it off, then opened the white shirt to expose the skin of Arthur. As the angel sat there shirt open, the Frenchman slid his tongue on the other one's chest, teasing the nipples mercilessly. Sounds of unmistakable pleasure rang in his ears like they were the finest music in the world, and for him they pretty much were. The demon placed his hand on Arthur's crotch, massaging the bulge through the fabric. Arthur opened his legs more, bucked his hips slightly. His body had betrayed him, giving so easily in for the sin of lust, and his mind was on an unstable ground too. It felt so _good_, Francis' expert-like hands pleasing him, the kiss they had shared...

_Sins have that one thing, that one thing why people do them, and that is of course the pleasure they get from it. And as Arthur had discovered, angels didn't have a barrier of protection for that either._

Francis went for Arthur's neck, licking it and marking it with his teeth. The angel moaned, reaching for that blonde hair of the demon. It felt so silky and smooth when he ran his finger's through it. He wrapped his arms around the Frenchman's neck, desperate for his body to be closer. Francis was unbuckling Arthur's belt now as he felt the tightening in his pants grow, eager to get to be in its element. With a smooth movement he managed to strip the angel's trousers, and a second later he had got rid of his own, revealing his naked erection.

"Mon cher, do you get to do these kind of things in Heaven?" he murmured to Arthur's ear, biting the earlobe gently. The angel laughed dryly.

"I think you know the ansrew."

"Ah, don't be so harsh...you seem to be enjoying this quite a bit, oui?"

"It's only because of the bloody cookie, so don't get too proud of yourself", Arthur hissed back.

"Ohonhon, mais cher, it's not like you get to violate an angel every day..." Francis chuckled and kissed the angel again, enjoying the taste of his lip. He smirked into the kiss, it was so _pleasurable_...

The demon grabbed Arthur's member, sending shivers trough the other's spine. Arthur moaned loudly and bucked his hips. Francis' touch was _just so, _and the effects of the cookie made things whole lot of...well, better. Or worse. He really didn't know.

When his cock was stroked, he couldn't help but pull the demons hair a little, because those hands...They knew exactly where to touch and what to do.

Francis broke the kiss just to get to Arthur's collarbone. The angel may have a rough personality, but his skin was the exact opposite, it was smooth and silky, delicious. And Arthur's face was the perfect add, him panting and blushing madly was _so damn erotic_, sending more heat towards his lower abdomen.

"You're a fucking bastard, you know that?" Arthur managed to gasp, moaning when Francis fondled his sack.

"Uh-huh. Problem?"

"Being taken care of", the angel shuddered, body arching. He was near his climax (and he did not feel the least bit sorry for it!). Francis seemed to notice his, and quickened his pace, enjoying every moan that escaped the other man's lips.

"Fuck...!" Arthur cried as he came. Francis smirked.

"You're sensitive. Don't you touch yourself at all?"

"Shut up", the angel spat, voice unstable and breathy. His cock was still hard, much to the thanks of the biscuit. Francis didn't mind at all.

The demon ran his tongue along Arthur's chest, sending sweet vibrations straight down to the lower regions of the angel. He flicked one of his nipples with his wet muscle, earning a slightly annoyed moan.

"Just get on with it, crap beard", Arthur snarled. He tried to sound irritated, which he was probably, but Francis knew the angel loved his, his proud nature just wouldn't let him admit that. He did what was told, though. He moved to face the erect member that was desperate for more attention. Francis grabbed it gently and wiped of some of the cum with his finger, humming victoriously when the angel bucked his hips.

"Your words are harsh but your body language says something else", he murmured, planting a soft kiss on the head of the member.

"My body says nothing, it's only the biscuit!" the angel's cry of protest was turned into a gasp when Francis took the cock into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the shaft. Arthur groaned desperately. How long it had been since he had done something like this? Years? Decades? Only God himself knows (rather awkward, concidering he was Arthur's boss). Even worse, Francis was doing a damn good job on him.

Francis felt how Arthur's member twitched, knowing the other would be done soon. He sucked the shaft before deepthroating it, taking in almost all of its lenght. His head bobbed a few times before Arthur came, crying out Francis' name breathlessly, enough to make him too climax. The demon swallowed the cum, sucked the softening member once more, teasingly, and then retreated with a satistied smirk.

"That was nice", he said, licking his lips. Arthur glared at him.

"This never happened."

"Oh really?"

"Really. Get dressed, you're disgusting", the angel growled and grabbed his trousers. He slipped into the almost non-chalantly, careful not to look at Francis. The demon smiled, following the example of the other blonde and putting his own trousers on.

"What time is it?" he asked and zipped the pants. Arthur glanced at his watch, paling a little.

"... it's still 35 minutes before the lift works again."

Francis smirked in triumph. He still had a lot of biscuits...


End file.
